Monday, October 20, 2008

Does Astrological Sign Matter?

An update on the Salina guy - we talked for over 2 hours last night, and it was a wonderful conversation. I got the scoop on the charges, and I'm ok with the answer. I did an extensive Internet search on him, and everything else he said is absolutely true. Why am I explaining this, it's really nobody's business but my own.

I recently became interested in Astrology. I guess you could say that, basically I read my horoscope (a/k/a horrorscope) almost daily. I also like to see if the guy to whom I am talking and I are compatible. I am a cancer. Salina is a libra, which my friend Angela (not to be confused with Angie) said means he is boring. She also said I can't date a Libra.

Luckily, this is offset by my earlier study of birth order. I am the youngest of 9, he is the 2nd oldest of 6. The basic rule is youngest shouldn't date other youngest (because they're both supposedly used to getting their own way, which is in no way true of me). Youngest also shouldn't date only children for the same reason (my ex-husband was an only child, and trust me, it was all about HIM!).

How much credence should be given to these theories? Truth is, I am a stereotypical Cancer - The Protector, emotional. Very loving and caring. Excellent partners for life. Cautious. Touchy-feely kind of person. Needs love from others. Easily hurt, but sympathetic. Would I get along with somebody who is (according to his sign): Nice to everyone they meet (I LOVE that!). Can't make up his mind. Have own unique appeal. Creative, energetic, and very social. Hates to be alone. Peaceful, generous. Very loving and beautiful. Flirtatious. Give in too easily. Procrastinators. Very gullible. That all sounds good to me! I can put up with a little procrasination if I get somebody who is nice, loving, etc. I did read somewhere that Libras are likely to cheat. Does this mean if we married that my second would end like my first? I can't let that happen!

So I'm going to ignore astrology on this one and go with my gut. My gut says that this guy is sweet and could be "the one." Unfortunately, my gut is wrong waaaay more often than it is right, so I guess I'll carefully optimistic. I don't want to put myself in the situation where I might get hurt, but I guess that's part of finding Mr. Right. Will Salina sweep me off my feet? Is he my dream man? Probably not, but as always, I'll give it everything I've got.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

DDD - Daily Dating Drama - the ex-convict

So I have been e-mailing this guy from Salina for about 3 weeks. He is a good Christian man, very affectionate, loves his kids very much, he's not afraid to be in a monogamous relationship - he seems like good relationship material for sure! He had checked out my myspace and facebook and was ok with everything on there. Did I mention he is soooo handsome? grrrrrrrrrrowl! Yesterday, I finally gave him my phone number. We couldn't chat last night - his kids and my daughter were still up, and it was getting late - but maybe tonight.

Today I was online and realized - oh crap - I hadn't done a background check on him yet! I do this routinely with guys I meet online as soon as I get their last name. I had gotten his last name 3 weeks ago, and it had completely slipped my mind. After all, he seemed so great, and such a great Christian, what could go wrong?

You see where this is going. Now he had told me upfront that he got involved with a "young girl" (his high school sweetheart) years ago and they had 2 children together. He also told me he got involved with drugs. It never crossed my mind to think about jailtime. So I go to the Kansas Department of Corrections website, pull up his name..... long pause while the page loads..... and there it was, staring at me like the idiot I am: convicted on one count of indecent liberties with a child when he was 21, possession of meth around 25, and failing to return an address verification to the KBI last year (did I mention how hot he looked in his mugshot?). And like a puzzle, all the pieces of things that I found odd in our online "relationship" came together. That is why he lost his job a few months ago, he got convicted of the last count in June of this year and probably went back to jail for a short time period. That is why he seems like he is hiding something. I had a gut feeling he was, I can't tell you why, I just did. I had no idea it was his rap sheet.

Now, indecent liberties with a child, what does that mean? Well, I believe it means that he was over 18 and she was under 16. One thing is for sure, I will find out. My guess is that his high school sweetheart was a few years younger than him, he got her pregnant, and the parents had him arrested. Is this me being extremely naive? Does it really matter, since I'm a single mother of a 9-year old girl? I have to know. I have never been one to judge people by their past, and the fact that he has a drug conviction from 7 years ago really doesn't phaze me. But indecent liberties with a child? I'm so confused. Part of me says don't EVER communicate with him again. Part of me says that it's not my place to judge him.

There are other fish out there on my hook, so why don't I just throw this one back in as quickly as possible? I guess I just have to know the whole story first. And so, after I finish my glass of wine (my newest pasttime, I decided to start drinking on a daily basis yesterday), I vow to get to the bottom of this, my daily dating drama.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Sugar Detox

Thursday was International Credit Union Day, and the credit union where I work celebrated with some yummy cookies. I must have been waaay too excited about the event, because I celebrated more than anybody - by eating the cookies, of course. My subconscience goal was to eat as many cookies as I handed out to members. I had 3 dozen, and I probably came close to achieving this goal. Needless to say, I was not proud.

Friday, I had a few cookies for breakfast. I spent my entire lunch 1/2 hour driving home and back because I thought I had left my electric blanket on (which I didn't). Then somebody brought me the most delicious cinnamon roll ever in the afternoon, so I wolfed 1/2 of it down. Did I mention all I had drank was a Dr. Pepper? I started not feeling so well, so I stopped eating the cinnamon roll. Soon after, I started feeling really sad, and I didn't know why. I wondered - can too much sugar cause you to feel depressed? So, in yet another effort to avoid working, I did an Internet search, and sure enough, it can! Maybe this is my problem. I am so addicted to sugar. It's like craving a cigarette or alcohol, if I want something sweet, I have to have it right then. I searched for ways to stop the addiction. I basically found out that like stopping any addiction, it will not be easy.

How does this tie back to no sex and the city? Well, I am 5'1" and I weigh 167 lbs. (Angie, tell anybody and you're dead!). Now, I like to claim that I have a lot of muscle, and since muscle weighs more than fat, I have to weigh more. After all, I did compete in weightlifting.... about 15 years ago!!! Anywho, as sad as it is for me to admit, some men won't date me because of my weight. I've maintained that I want somebody who loves me for me, not the way I look, and I do. But I'm sure it would be much easier to find that man if I lost a few (or 35) pounds.

So today I start my sugar detox. Don't get me wrong, it really is for me and not to facilitate my efforts to find the love of my life. I'm not sure how I'll make it through the morning without my Dr. Pepper, but I'm tired of feeling bad about myself. I am determined, and even though I'll feel bad for causing the vending machine company's loss of income, I have to do it. I like everything about me besides my weight, so it's time to do it - for myself. And when I do, I'm sure I'll find Mr. Right, and he'll probably be obese and not have cared in the first place.... so I can put it all right back on.

Friday, October 17, 2008

No Sex and the City

My first blog, what to say..... let's talk about the name choice, since that's probably what most of my blogs will be about anyways. I struggled to think of a name - I was aiming for something cute like Frogger the Blogger or Feliz Chica, my friend Angie suggested weird things like SpaceBalls, The Good The Bad The You, Bankers Gone Wild (which I kind of liked, actually). Then she recommended {my name} does Wichita, and I thought, I don't do Wichita, so I decided on No Sex and the City. Similar to the TV show, yes, only those women actually have sex!

I am a Charlotte. For those of you who don't watch the show, Charlotte (like myself) has a refreshingly optimistic outlook on love and romance amidst the ever-complex dating scene. I know somewhere out there is my Mr. Right, although occasionally it crosses my mind that maybe he is already dead. Hey, we can't be positive ALL the time!

Charlotte has morals, also like myself. Maybe mine are a little better, though, as she has slept with more men in the first two seasons than I have in my life. (I recently started watching the show, and I'm only on season 2). I often curse my morals. I sometimes think I would be a lot happier if I was getting laid. But that will just cause me to feel bad about myself, so I don't do it. Sleeping with a man leads to an emotional attachment to them, and I inevitably end up getting hurt. Which is probably why 80% of the guys I go out with, I don't go out with a second time.

The way I see it, men are dogs. But I know there are some good ones out there, I'm just trying to find one. I may die looking, but it's a risk I'm willing to take. I refuse to put myself and my daughter through another failed marriage.

So there will be more tales to follow about me and my ongoing effort to weed out the dogs in hopes that there is a real man out there..... somewhere.