Thursday was International Credit Union Day, and the credit union where I work celebrated with some yummy cookies. I must have been waaay too excited about the event, because I celebrated more than anybody - by eating the cookies, of course. My subconscience goal was to eat as many cookies as I handed out to members. I had 3 dozen, and I probably came close to achieving this goal. Needless to say, I was not proud.
Friday, I had a few cookies for breakfast. I spent my entire lunch 1/2 hour driving home and back because I thought I had left my electric blanket on (which I didn't). Then somebody brought me the most delicious cinnamon roll ever in the afternoon, so I wolfed 1/2 of it down. Did I mention all I had drank was a Dr. Pepper? I started not feeling so well, so I stopped eating the cinnamon roll. Soon after, I started feeling really sad, and I didn't know why. I wondered - can too much sugar cause you to feel depressed? So, in yet another effort to avoid working, I did an Internet search, and sure enough, it can! Maybe this is my problem. I am so addicted to sugar. It's like craving a cigarette or alcohol, if I want something sweet, I have to have it right then. I searched for ways to stop the addiction. I basically found out that like stopping any addiction, it will not be easy.
How does this tie back to no sex and the city? Well, I am 5'1" and I weigh 167 lbs. (Angie, tell anybody and you're dead!). Now, I like to claim that I have a lot of muscle, and since muscle weighs more than fat, I have to weigh more. After all, I did compete in weightlifting.... about 15 years ago!!! Anywho, as sad as it is for me to admit, some men won't date me because of my weight. I've maintained that I want somebody who loves me for me, not the way I look, and I do. But I'm sure it would be much easier to find that man if I lost a few (or 35) pounds.
So today I start my sugar detox. Don't get me wrong, it really is for me and not to facilitate my efforts to find the love of my life. I'm not sure how I'll make it through the morning without my Dr. Pepper, but I'm tired of feeling bad about myself. I am determined, and even though I'll feel bad for causing the vending machine company's loss of income, I have to do it. I like everything about me besides my weight, so it's time to do it - for myself. And when I do, I'm sure I'll find Mr. Right, and he'll probably be obese and not have cared in the first place.... so I can put it all right back on.